street food......

During my college days,I was majorly into street food!We had a decent mess and mess food was mostly good but my love for street food dragged me to the thelewalas (mobile vendors) regularly!I recently re-visited my regular hangouts during one of my day dreaming sessions.......
firstly the sandwich guy right outside my college sold the most amazing punjabi sandwiches filled with spicy potato filling and slathered generously with butter!mmmmm....girls used to flock him like he was a superstar!
next was a dosa stall a block away near a PCO run by a goan couple where all the hostel girls used to call back home.This stall opened late in the evening& had the spiciest mysore masala dosa with a deep red filling layered with chutney and dotted generously with ghee.It was huge for one person so i used to mostly share it with my close friend S (another street food fan like me!)
then there was this small shed opposite the dosa stall that sold plain dhal,chawal&scrambled egg for RS10 ! this was for the days when we were bored of mess food(which was often!)

We often visited the santacruz market to buy stuff for college projects,there was this small restaurant called Gulfam,that sold mouth watering egg biryani!it was a crammed up joint with a dingy wooden staircase that led to an upper deck packed with biryani hungry customers like us!

then ofcourse there was the juhu beach within walking distance that had the most delicious chaats !colourful savepuris,tangy bhel puris,raj kachori,dahi pappdi chat,channa chats and creamy pav bhajis.....

now a days i almost never eat out.....with a preschooler and a toddler,eating out is more a hassle than relaxation and enjoyment.Then there is the worry of what the food might do to their tender tummies!to top it there are no good Indian eating joints here.Nothing compared to the lip smacking satisfaction of standing in the dusty street and scooping mouths full of pani poori with the tangy juice dripping down your mouth.

Are you a picture perfect mom?

Off late I have started obsessing over my looks....my hair to be more precise.Its been quite some time that i let my hair loose.I am tired with my pony tail and aunty like bun!Delivering 2 babies have left me with a little more hair than being bald.Now ,I'm not exaggerating here!my thinning hair and poor texture have become a constant cause of worry that my kids tantrums feel far less worrisome!I go into the bathroom every now and then and frown at my poor hair condition.I looked up hair supplements and pestered my hubby(who strongly believes in getting all the nutrients from food naturally!!!!get all the nutrients and wait for my hair to grow when?before i die!?!) into geting me a big bottle of pills for 'Hair,skin&nails'.I stopped going shopping years back,thanks to my boisterous boys who think huge shopping malls are places to run around with out turning back to see if your parents are there or not!Shopping carts can restrict them only until they decide its time to yell for a toy and get down to explore which happens in less than 5 mins.My hubby breaks into a sweat if i suggest that he takes the kids for a drive to the mall so i can spend some time in solitude!!You can imagine what sweet children i have!:)So we have reached a mutual understanding that hubby dear works his heart of and does all the shopping during the week so that he can turn into a play structure during weekends,with the boys climbing all over him!Now coming to my big bottle of pills,well I've started popping them with no effects yet......to top it hubby was sweet enough to browse through the cosmetics section and get me an Olive oil root stimulater and anti breakage hair cream!Now this is from someone who thinks stores are meant to be places that sell only Electronic gadgets!!!Well ,I've been frantically popping pills,drinking water,trying out various oils,creams and other home remedies and store remedies to grow my hair......humph....I haven't given up,the results will take some time i guess.When i see all my friend's pictures on facebook with straightened glossy hair and fashionable trendy clothes,i wonder how they manage it all !!!The total time i take to get ready is 10 mins!!!I mean it!All i do is change into a pair of boring jeans&t-shirt and pull on a jacket,I tie my hair into a pony and maybe put on some chapstick to protect from the cold,that's about it.i am weary of trying any artificial means to make my hair look glamorous because i just can't maintain it!I dont have the luxury of time,so just have to do with healthy alternatives to make it at least manageable.My mom has this pic of me framed in her living room where i have wonderful layered tresses in my favorite Madhuri hair style and perfectly made up face.....Sometimes when i think of that pic,I cant believe its me....The kind of ME that I am now is far from any photographers delight.So until I get back my healthy hair,my mission will continue and hats off to all picture perfect moms!

As the sun rises......

After almost 7 months of hibernation, doing nothing special...I am back trying my hand at poetry!!!A short one to start with......so i don't make a fool of myself!


As the sun rises....

I see myself waking up from a bed of fluffy clouds....

As the rises.....

I see myself walking into an oasis filled with the scent of holy herbs....

As the sun rises....

I see myself bathing under a cascade of refreshing blue water.....

As the sun rises....

I see myself draping the night sky embellished with the twinkling stars into an elegant garment...

As the sun rises.....

I see myself devouring the juiciest mango summer has to offer....

As the sun rises.....

I see myself walking an endless path lined with ruby red roses that shy away as i touch their soft petals...

As the sun rises.....

I hear divine music filling my ears and heart with everlasting joy.....

As the sun rises.....

I hear my sarcastic mind laughing at me and shaking me out of my reverie,"Wake up Athlete mom!get ready for your marathon!"

What is special ?

My son's preschool teacher recently sent their month's lesson plan and the topic of discussion this week was what makes each child special.This set me thinking......first about the word special,what it truly meant and what was special about each person in my family!?!Like any loving mother in the world,i feel every bit of my children are special,everything about them is special and every little innocent act is special in its own way.Of late my older son is into drawing&coloring.Like any preschooler, he is exploring his world through colors&i already feel he's definitely going to grow up to be a Picasso!when he is away at preschool,i go through his drawings& beam with pride at his wonderful creations.At 15 months i feel my younger son is a born basket ball player!!!balls never cease to fascinate him and he's always throwing them at the wrong places,like my dinner plate!behind the t.v & speakers or on top of the huge dining table towering in front of his tiny self.My hubby K, is paranoid about the ball bouncing behind his prized speakers,being the electronic freak that he is,he is always worried about the massive damage that those weightless balls might make on his 40 lb speakers!!now coming to K.What makes him special?I feel he is a genuine person with absolutely no pretenses.He doesn't try to converse with any kind of American or English accent.....He patiently repeats whatever he's trying to convey to the eager looking foreigner trying to decipher his thick Indian english.He doesn't care to see if someone is watching him not use his knife and fork on his pizza...I always try to display my table manners and meticulously cut my pizza into a perfect bite size while he is already digging into his 3rd or 4th slice!!!I pout my lips and take a tiny sip from my dainty glass while i hear K loudly banging his glass down after a huge gulp&wiping his satisfied face!One of my friend's from CA used to say,i like it when your hubby comes over because he never says, 'no no i just had my coffee/tea,maybe next time' and gladly accepts whatever i offer!Most people say no when offered refreshments at any friends place but not K!Most of all he just can not hide what he's feeling!When he's angry or worried or excited or Happy,he just has to let you know.....or rather let ME know!I always tell him I'm his emotional dump.Being one spares me from guessing whats hidden in his mind or trying to peep under his mask.He has no mask and he can never have one.The open book that he is,i can read him at one glance!This preschool exercise has helped not only my son realize what makes him special but has also had a therapeutic effect on me,reminding me to cherish all the special people around me.Maybe i should repeat this exercise every once in few months so that i don't get carried away by petty quarrels and forget to count my blessings.

Its all because of you.....

This is all because of you!!! how many times have we heard this phrase or how many times have we hurled it at others?putting the blame on someone during an uncomfortable situation is the simplest thing to do....We all do it sometime or the other.Right from childhood facing conflicts is an ongoing learning process and many times we as adults run away from conflicts more than kids.My elder son is extremely naughty and after a mishap we always end up asking"A ! was that you who did it?"once he told me with a very serious face "No! it was Elmo!!!" now he blames it on his baby brother!sometimes the poor chap takes ownership for things he was in no way connected!!!So i realized, after repeated use we almost come to believe in the blame game!!!So now he believes,whenever there is a mishap,he is connected to it in someway!!poor kid!I am trying to teach him to take responsibility for only what he did.More than the kids i feel we adults enjoy the blame game immensely!specially between spouses and partners!We tend to easily get tangled in the"who did what for whom and when" kind of webs.Its hard to break free from such sticky webs where Ego , emotions and deep rooted beliefs are inter-twined.Its easier to throw such phrases at your partners face because you know they are not going to hold a grudge against you for that.So you end up in a mess and when questioned about it, shout your favorite phrase"All because of you!!!" and walk away while you partner stares back with a "What? Me? How?" look!! and shrugs away with a "whatever".This saves us from the much dreaded anxiety monster for the moment.To understand this behavior pattern better,i read up some bits from Sigmund Freud.( i never imagined i'd come across his name again in my life after i wrote the last word on my psychology answer paper in my 1st yr in college!)According to him :" The purpose of the Ego Defence Mechanisms is to protect the mind/self/ego from anxiety, social sanctions or to provide a refuge from a situation with which one cannot currently cope." Now this sounds simple but on deeper thought if the habit of blaming continues then the mind believes what we say, like my son who started believing that he was responsible for all the mishaps because of repeatedly asking him if he was!this also breeds a negative ground for holding resentment and grudges which can slowly start eating your relationship.Most importantly i feel this affects the person who likes to throw the blame ball at others the most, because it instantly blocks the persons self growth. By putting the blame on another person he has given up the power to change and evolve into a better and stronger person.The most important lesson i learnt from this entire thought process is that We can not control everything that happens in our life,no one can!the only thing we can control is our reactions to events outside our control. and how we use that to evolve into a stronger person than we once were... I thank my 3&1/2 yr old son for giving me this food for thought and thereby teaching me this important lesson.

Shri Gurubhyo Namaha (Obeisance to my Master)

I have been wanting to write about my teachers for quite some time but somehow the thoughts kept slipping away from my quill.So i sat and wrote randomly about the 3 people who came to my mind.They must have definitely left an imprint in my mind or why would their faces pop up when i think about teachers?!

The first person i re-collect is my first music teacher-S .A middle aged man (middle aged when i was 5 yrs old!!) of very few words.I was his disciple for only 1 yr but if i have my musical notes in place even today,its because of him.His sheer dedication and patience was a big hand in making the foundation strong.His efforts to teach me a little extra has added to my minimal musical knowledge.I wish i had known its value then.If i had,i would have been a different person today.This is something i wish i had done during my childhood and regret it till this day.

*Thank you Sir for the short but enriching musical journey*

The next person and the main person whose memory prompted me to write this post is my art teacher in school Ms-R .R was quite a dynamic personality!She was tall,fair and beautiful but never bothered about her looks.She was always seen in a mix&match of cotton Salwar kameez.Her wavy long hair was always let loose after her daily wash and her eyes were always smeared with kajal.A cloth sack hung over her shoulder carrying her minimum daily supplies.No fancy handbags.R was a Shanti niketan product and was like a firecracker!she would burst with creativity and the sparks would fall on everyone around her.The kids loved her and she loved the kids!She would never teach the kids that roses are red and violets are blue.....Her art classes would be like a celebration of colours!where we would be prodded to explore with all the possible colours we could mix&make.My friends and I were quite chummy with R and used to look forward to her classes.She was the one who opened the door to a whole new world inside me!A world where i was the master and endless possibilities of creation lay scattered around me.Her encouragement was one of the main reasons why i decided to major in textiles&clothing and not study computers like all my peers.I have had many enjoyable moments with her and this one incident brings a smile to my lips even today...Like most school students i used to enjoy taking part in inter-school competitions one of which being"Vasthra" which was a theme based fashion show.Each school would have to come up with innovative costumes based on the theme given.I was a regular in her set of modals(for my sheer stage presence and nothing else!Height wise,heels was my savior) So this one year the theme was 'Kerala' and R had come up with really cool designs.My costume was an inspiration of the kerala folk dance 'Kathakali'.My skirt was similar to the costume worn by the kathakali dancer, something like an umbrella!The ends of the skirt was wired and it danced about as i walked.So here i was all decked up in my umbrella like skirt.The first modal walked down with a traditional lamp call the 'nilavilakku' and the rest followed.My turn came and i pranced forward in my umbrella skirt and as i struck a pose at the end of the ramp,the audience gasped!"AH"I was elated!i said to myself in my mind 'way to go girl!looks like you took their breath away!" as i headed backstage R ran up to me,grabbed my shoulder and cried"V! are you ok?" I stared back clueless and replied" why shouldn't i be? " "well you were about to go up in smoke" she continued animatedly.Soon more of my friends from the audience gathered around me and told me the story.The first modal had placed the lit lamp at the very end of the ramp just like how she was asked to and when i struck my pose my umbrella skirt was floating just above the lamp which was the reason why the audience gasped and waited with bated breath to see if my skirt would catch fire or not!!!So much for taking everyones breath away.I thanked God that he saved mine.Since that day R would giggle at the sight of me and nod her head, i would giggle back and we would have a good laugh.
*Thank you R for lighting the creative lamp in me*

The third and last person i am going to write about is Ms-N ,one of my professors in college.She taught us textile chemistry.She always looked like she would fall asleep any minute!Her voice was blank,monotonous, a complete drag and highly nasal!Sitting through her lecture with complete attention from start to end was a great achievement which most girls weren't willing to attempt.If anyone wanted to go see a movie,they would see if they had N's lecture that day because that would be their first choice to bunk!I would still attend N's lectures,not because i had any personal interest in N and neither was i remotely fascinated by textile chemistry.My interests lay only in her dress.She would often be attired in 'mekhla chadars' which was the traditional costume of Assam and which was where she was from.Each time a different colour and beautiful intricate embroidery.Her traditional attire lent a slight charm to her and added a bit of colour to her otherwise pale self. I loved her Mekhla Chadars and always wished i owned one.

*Thank you N for teaching me that life is not always interesting but you can always find something interesting in life*

Thank you S,R,N and all my teachers for making valuable imprints in me that makes me what i am today.

When clouds hover over my head these thoughts run through my mind

The place where i live is surrounded by mountains and hence year round cloudy.It rains a lot and sunshine is a welcome sight!The air is chilly and people complain that they get depressed due to the dull weather and lack of sunshine.Weather has never affected my moods.When i came to this country many years ago i landed in a much warmer place that had sunshine year round!but my fear of a new place,new surrounding,new people and a new relationship made me build an invisible wall around me but i still made friends and had a good time. The sunshine didn't in particular add to my happiness or anything.My friends from school and college think I am an extrovert but in reality I am an Introvert.I take a long time to open up to people and share my life.I make friends easily,i laugh,i have a good time but I'm very cautious about taking them into my personal life.I have a very hard time opening myself up and sharing my problems.I am like a snail who hides in its shell.My hubby is just the opposite!whatever goes into his ears and his mind comes out of his mouth!His conversations have given me quite a shock in the beginning.The art of letting the thoughts go out is actually good.It doesn't trap the energy inside but i stay hidden in my shell,peeping out at times only to hurry back in at the slightest provocation.When emotions overwhelm me i go into silence.I love silence.It gives me time to dwell upon my thoughts.My silence may make me seem to be a moody or proud person but in reality silence is my way of gathering myself up.it means I've gone into my shell and need time to assess my emotions.Two years back we moved from the warm sunny place to the mountains where it rains year round.Its been two years but my hubby still compares the weather and complains about the dark clouds that hover around most days but the clouds don't bother me at all!I am what I am and the clouds can't change me!I am still happy with life and i still hide in my shell,i still go into bouts of silence until i am refreshed and ready to face the grind.I know the rains can dampen happy picnics and outdoor fun but its the sunshine after the rains that bring about the rainbow!So rain or shine life is still fine!